well it’s been awhile since i wrote on the subject. hard to wrap my brain around it really. my life at the moment is full of lace and bowties, cake smashing and first dances. i’m so on the go that it’s quite convenient actually as it doesn’t leave much room for just thinking. i like to keep things light and fun on here, but as life isn’t always light and fun… neither can i pretend it is on here. so i think now it’s been about 6 months since he’s been gone. it gives me goosebumps just typing that. i actually don’t count down days which seems to surprise people. i find it’s more depressing and honestly kinda pointless. and for those that have so thoughtfully asked, it’s been about 1 month since he’s been in afghanistan and from the emails i’ve received it’s all going quite well. in fact, apparently afghanistan is very beautiful with high mountains surrounding the base.

the weeks leading up to his deployment i got quite annoyed. they kept changing his schedule. they didn’t have an address. i didn’t even have an emergency contact number! i was beyond ready to go over to this so-called miltary base myself and tell them to get their  %^$  together. he repeatedly explained to me this is just how it works and not to take it so personally. i then took personally the fact that he was telling me not to take this personally. ironically, i was told this would happen. apparently it’s much easier to say goodbye when angry, than it is to say goodbye when you are sad. there i sat thinking i was above all the sterotypes for spouses at homes, yet there i was free-falling right into them. i wish i could say that in the end it all came together but unfortunately i still get very anxious when i think about it.

so, that is that and here we are. 6 months in. i wrote about life at 22 days and at 76 days. so what is life like after about 196 days?

* i think i’ve finally figured out the lawn (right in time for winter of course!)

* editing images with a candle lit, red wine, and the entire series of <instert Glee, Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy, Switched at Birth, Drop Dead Diva or any other corny ABC Family Show> is how i love to spend my nights

* i honestly don’t remember what it’s like to share a space with my husband. it’s a sad statement but true. i mean, i can physically remember and state the things we did and how we did them. but it’s hard to remember how it all felt. i know we woke up and made breakfast. i know i did dishes, and he always vacummed. but i don’t really remember the effortless way we just lived and took on our roles. what did we DO all the time?

* the dog officially loves me more

* i want to hire a service to come vacuum my house and i don’t think you should judge me for it

* i’ve appreciated more than ever the things he used to take care of for us…but i’ve also realized that i am totally ok on my own ;)

* fall is my favorite time of year. which also means it’s the saddest this year. ready for the cheeseball in me? i am totally one of those people who completely loves fall and all it entails- pumpkin picking, apples, making casseroles, baking apple pies and crock pot meals, pumpkin spice lattes, wood burning fires and red wine. do i sound like a freakin betty crocker commercial yet? i even miss the way chris normally rolls his eyes everytime fall comes around cause he knows how excited i get and how he will have to try and tame the excitement for the next 3 months.

* i have learned i am definitely one of those people who can easily fall victim to being a hermit. i’ve always been a homebody. not having my crazy husband to force me out of the house has made me realize just how scary this could become. the good thing is i have friends who make plans that involve amazing food and good wine…and we all know i can’t say no to either :)

though we haven’t been able to speak yet, i have gotten lots of sweet and fun emails. we also got to spend the last few days before he deployed in pensacola, fl.  it was amazing and different all the same. we had the perfect beach view, hilarious happy hours, a few awkward moments, and yes, even a few tears. (or a lot but you get the idea)

i thoroughly can’t wait for his return.

of course after tons of enormously failed attempts at a self portrait, the one i like the best is the one were i head butted him over and over trying to get him to smile…

if you are knew to the blog…a little bit of background to this crazy story!

14 months

this week

22 days

76 days

well, it’s time